Thursday, February 22, 2007


I knew the Internet wouldn't let me down, if I put out my desire to hook up with other Atheist Knitters! I am what you might call "A BIG FAT ATHEIST!" that would be the scientific, politically correct title. I wasn't brought up in the church in my childhood but I knew about church and god(s) and stuff I just didn't buy it. My abusive, drug dealing father decided to go get himself "Saved" when I was about 7 years old, which only made him a worse abuser although he stop the drug dealing so "I guess that's all right" (she says with scorn but he is dead now so KARMA) and after that, he gave me a children's bible and told me to read it because it was the truth. By that age I didn't know what it meant to be "an Atheist" but I knew I didn't believe in any god(s), that much I was able to say to people. So, I read the children's bible cover to cover and gave it back to him saying, "no, there is no way that could be the truth." So even at 7 years old, I was a pretty hard core Atheist.

My mom has been an occasional church goer, and she says that it hurts her feelings that I don't believe in god but honestly my experience with god was in the 4 years (from age 11 - 15) I lived with my father and his wife post "born again." We went to church most nights a week, and on the weekends my dad would put me out on the street saving souls. You can imagine how uncomfortable it was to be a hard core Atheist trying to convert the homeless, gang bangers, and prostitutes in the LBC (Long Beach, CA for those of you not familiar with Snoop Dog music =) ) but I did it and there are 3 people that I clearly remember getting them to accept "Jesus Christ into their heart as their personal lord and savior" and even had to fake speaking in tongues so I wouldn't get my ass beat EVERYday (just most days).

The problem with telling my story about my time in the church is that people automatically assume that the trauma of living with my dad is the reason I have negative association with god but as I said I was an acknowledge NON-believer far before the age of 7. I've since read the bible 7 times, there was a time I could quote scripture with the best of them (this proves to be very frustrating to christian's because they typically haven't read their bibles cover to cover they wait for the preacher to tell them how to follow) and I have read the Gnostic books (you know the books that tell about Jesus's childhood, his brothers and sisters (yeah that's right Christian's he had siblings in these books) that were left out of the bible when the Catholic church created the "good book." I study other religions too because you have to know your enemy (not really just have to be prepared for the proselytizers).

I don't so much have a problem with people needing to believe there is a god or gods out there in the universe. Everyone needs a crutch of some kind (mine is cheesecake) but I really have a problem with organized religion. Because it teaches people to be sheep and most theist I've encountered in my life have never studied their own bible outside of Sunday mass. If I am going to get into a discussion with a theist, they better be as prepared as I am to discuss it. No preaching off of "I had certain experiences and I KNOW god exist" cause that won't work with me. I am so outspoken about my Atheism because there is such a huge lack of Atheist that do come out. In some cases people are more afraid to say they are an Atheist than they would be to say they were gay. (I had a buddy like that.) I just think that the more outspoken we are about Atheism, and the more people that can see we live normal, moral, healthy lives as Atheist, the less stigma it will have. Maybe not in my life time, and maybe not in the US (but that's why I'm moving to England one day) but eventually.

I am so inspired by my 4 commentors to make up a ring or something for Atheist Knitters. I'll send you all invites soon. Cool beans now I have folks I can relate too. Maybe I will do a KAL for the Invisible Pink Unicorn (hmmmmmmmmmm).

Before I get too carried away though, I want to answer (or speak on) the comments I had from yesterday's post.

Lobstah - Yes that atom symbol also represents us, but it is specifically the logo from American Atheist an organization that helps fight for separation of church and state. They are awesome, check out their website. (P.S. You don't have to be wimpy about it, I'll protect you. ;P)


Jennifer- You are what is called an "Agnostic" agnosticism is non-committal position on god(s) or as Webster's defines it...

1: a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable; broadly : one who is not committed to believing in either the existence or the nonexistence of God or a god

2 : a person unwilling to commit to an opinion about something

Atheists would look at you as kind of part of the group but kind of not part of the group at the same time. Or to make a Seinfeld reference they would say that you could be an agnostic "not that there is anything wrong with that" but they wouldn't be called an agnostic. Does that make sense? There are tons of online resources for Agnosticism too but I'm not sure of any one in particular but would be more than happy to do some research for ya. =)

Twitchy Knitter- Answer to your question "YES"

Library Lass- I feel ya! And I knew they had to be somewhat similar that face & pattern. Cool beans were are Atheist-Knitter-South Asian Cat owners. Holla if ya hear me!


lobstah said...

Hey look, a few of us "came out of the closet." And you are right, in this country admitting to atheism is worse than admitting you are gay!

Your stories of childhood are shocking, I'm sorry that you had to go through all that :( I come from a very boring, non-dysfunctional middle class family. My parents are sorta-Catholics (not very adamant about it) and allowed me to choose to not be confirmed which was very cool of them. Still, I haven't really brought up my lack-of-belief to them...not that I think they'd really care but as I said in my last comment I'm very wimpy about admitting this to people. I think I need to work on that...I guess one step at a time, eh?

tiennie said...

I love your honesty. Thanks for this!

Lolly said...

I too really appreciate your honesty and "laying it all out there". You are right about the admitting you are an atheist thing being worse than admitting you are gay. It is not something to be ashamed of at all. I am not an atheist, but I share the same thoughts as you on organized religion and the crutch mentality.

Thanks also for joining Project Spectrum! I am glad to see that you are in!

Best wishes~

Jennifer said...

Thanks for the info...I've heard the term agnostic before but never knew what it meant. I will definitely be doing some research on the topic as it feels good to know there is a term for people who are in-between believers like me. I, too, had a biological father who decided to be "saved" when I was in high school and successfully scared the crap out of me by making me go to his crazy tongues-speaking church and standing over me at 3am one time, telling me when I woke up that I needed to be saved or I would go to hell (he did the same thing to his 90 year old grandma). Anyway, he and I don't have a relationship anymore and I partially blame it on those days, but partially just because he's a jerk. Anyway, just wanted to say that I can relate a little (although mine was never physically abusive, just mentally). Thanks again for the info : )

librarylass said...

Wow what a brutally honest post! You really are brave telling everyone about what is admittedly a rather sucky past. Atheism isn't that big a deal where I am, sure there are a few hardcore religious people, but generally its treated as another belief and is respected as such. However I do believe that abusive childhoods definitely form our opinions on certain subjects. My firm disdain for religion came from being bullied in an all girls presbyterian school for 8 years, seeing the constant hypocrisy. However I tend to see the world in a budda-esque kind of view.

Definitely go the crazy atheist-cat-ladies from around the world, Unite!